


The Bridge

by DivineBurrito



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Fateful Encounter, Fluff, M/M, Modern AU, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 01:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineBurrito/pseuds/DivineBurrito
Summary: In a way this is the place where Rogue ends his life





	The Bridge

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts, depressing subjects and attempted suicide. 
> 
> This was heavily inspired by three things:  
\- the mapo bridge scene in the second episode of 'My first first love'.  
\- the song 'Separation Anxiety' by Nell  
\- a part of my past as a teenage burrito

The water below him was beckoning. Dark and mysterious, concealing what laid hidden in the depths. It was always in motion, it could be churning with rage or be so calm that only faint ripples disrupted the surface, but it was never fully in stasis. Right now it was ruthless, waves colliding and crashing into the strong support pillars of the bridge Rogue was standing on. There was a heavy wind blowing his hair out of his face, and although it was cold it was also pleasant. Like a comforting touch he craved, that held a promise to take him somewhere far away. 

He leaned back to shift his weight and climbed over the metal railing. The concrete ledge on the other side of it was just wide enough to stand on with half the length of his shoes. He held on to the railing behind him and leaned forward with a pounding heart.  
This was it. Once he'd let go there would be no turning back. One last time he looked at the city skyline of dark silhouettes outlined by colored lights against the night sky. It was beautiful but distant, out of reach like just about everything else but he caught himself staring at it and admiring it anyway. Just for a moment. 

“Hey...Are you okay?”

The sound came from somewhere behind him and it was unexpected enough for Rogue to turn his head and look over his shoulder to see where it had come from. The stranger who approached him gingerly came closer but kept a safe distance. 

“No...I don't think I am,” was the answer Rogue gave him. He looked back down again to where the raging water appeared to be black in the dark of the night. 

“Right, stupid question...okay, then...uhm...what's going on that makes you say that?”

The voice sounded closer but Rogue didn't look up to confirm that. He squeezed his eyes shut, both to shut out as much of the world around him and to fight the tears that had been lying in wait. 

“Do you see the water?” he asked with a brittle voice, “If you'd take out one drop nothing would change, right? No one would notice...no one would care...”  
He took a deep breath and embraced the silent tears, ignoring a car that honked its horn as it passed by and his voice that was getting louder as he continued.  
“I should be happy right? I'm physically healthy, I've had a decent childhood...I have a roof above my head and the privilege to attend college...So why do I feel like I can't breathe? Like I'm already drowning everyday?”

“I-wow, that's...that sounds terrifying...” the stranger rambled, the final bit more breath than voice. He had now gotten close enough to reach the railing. Rogue could see him lean on it from the corner of his eye.  
“Do you feel like that all the time? Is there something that makes you happy?”  
He paused, staring at the water for just a second before speaking up again.  
“I see the water. It looks really dark and dreary right now but I also see little flecks of light reflected in it. Do you have that? You know, little things that brighten your day like your favorite song or food? That one friend or family member or maybe a pet that can take away some of the pain you must be in?”

Sure, he had favorite songs and foods, a couple of close friends he sadly didn't see that much anymore due to the stress of combining educations with part-time jobs and other responsibilities.  
His parents lived on the other side of the country and the last time he had seen them was almost a year ago during a holiday break. He did talk to them on the phone sometimes but after every call he just felt a crushing guilt for lying by saying that everything was going great. Even if he believed that his parents would be better off if they didn't have to worry about him anymore he missed his mother's hugs and his dad's terrible jokes.  
He didn't have any pets either but there was one thing that came to his mind.

“There's...not really a pet but a stray cat that lurks around my apartment complex. I secretly feed it leftovers everyday but my landlord doesn't want me to. He says it will follow me inside and spread fleas everywhere...”

Rogue thought about the cat and how happy it always was to see him, even if he didn't have food with him at that moment. It was often a challenge to get inside the building without being followed so his landlord was at least right about that, and sometimes Rogue could see it waiting on the corner of the street when he looked out his window. 

It was faint and brief but he could definitely feel the upward curve of his lips.

“That's very nice of you! I'm sure that cat appreciates it. Do cats have feelings like we do? Because if they do then I bet it would care a lot about you. And I know you don't know me and I don't know you, but that doesn't really matter. I care about you too.”

The stranger slowly stretched out an open, visibly shaking hand.

“My name is Sting. Do you want to tell me yours?”

Rogue's own hands were getting sweaty and started to lose grip, the muscles in his arms were strained from holding on to the metal bars behind his back for so long. He had to make a choice now because if he suddenly let go he would lose his balance and the choice would be made for him. Then there would be no more suffering but also no more complaining about the crippling amount of projects, reads and assignments with Gray, no more hugs from mom, no more awful dad jokes. 

One hand let go and carefully he turned around to grab the hand that was waiting suspended in the air. The grip was so tight it almost hurt, or maybe it did hurt but the adrenaline rushing through his system just made him unable to feel it. He swung one leg over the railing but before the other could follow he was yanked forward into Sting's arms and the force of the pull made them both lose balance. He fell on top of him and onto the ground, and felt a sense of relief wash over him at the feeling of being on solid ground again.

“Sorry, I panicked! Oh God Jezus fuck, you did it! I'm so glad you didn't-” 

“Rogue...my name is Rogue...”

Sting was out of breath but smiling and crying at the same time, slightly wincing from taking the full impact of the fall and...hugging him? Rogue had never been hugged by a random stranger before so he never expected it to feel this good but it did, and he fully surrendered to it and to all the pent up emotion that broke free. 

Distant sirens became louder and soon they were bathing in flashing red and blue lights.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bridge wasn't even on his regular route.

The only reason he had been there that night had been a necessary detour caused by a road block, and he remembered the annoyance he felt for having to walk almost double the distance to get home after a long day of school and work. 

Stupid, right? Fussing about something so insignificant when there was someone taking the same route on purpose, with the intention of taking his own life?

What if he had said something different that day?  
What if he had frantically called the emergency services like his first instincts told him to do instead of sending a text message unnoticed before making an approach? What if he had come across a friend or an acquaintance and stopped for a chat? Would the outcome of the situation have been different?

These questions had haunted him for a long time, until he learned to let them go. There was no point in getting worked up about stuff that didn't happen so instead he focused on valuing the good things that happened after that night. Sure, those thoughts and 'what ifs' still popped up every now and then but all they did was make him feel more grateful that everything had worked out the way it did.

And this was why, after exactly two years since that fateful encounter, Sting walked up to that very same spot on the bridge. To commemorate the event that changed two lives that once ran separate courses but were now conjoined. He would have done it last year as well but he had a gut feeling he had somewhere else he should be that night, someone he should be with that night, and following that feeling had been a good decision.

Everything still looked the same. The bridge itself hadn't changed, the same cloudy night sky was hanging above him and even the water was as turbulent as it had been that night. And in that same spot he found the same person, providing a difference in the image Sting could still put together in his mind like it happened yesterday. 

Rogue wasn't standing in front of the railing but behind it.

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

When Rogue looked over his shoulder in surprise at hearing his voice, Sting could see the face he saw two years ago -the sunken cheeks and dark circles underneath empty eyes- like a ghost from the past. When he blinked it was gone again and all he could see was a face graced by health and eyes that had regained the spark they once had lost. A transformation that he had witnessed taking place over more than a year just flashed in front of his eyes in a split second.

“Well, I suppose we must be thinking roughly the same since you probably did not get here by coincidence,” Rogue mused.

Sting came closer until he stood next to him with his hands in his pockets, watching him as he stared at the horizon. “I didn't,” he admitted, “I came here on purpose because... I'm really glad that I got here by coincidence two years ago.” 

“And ironically I'm happy I got here on purpose two years ago so I could coincidentally end up here now again. Told you we were thinking roughly the same.”

Rogue turned to him with a smile, and even though it wasn't a rare sight anymore it never ceased to amaze him. He returned it as their arms found a way around each other, and for the next couple of minutes they said nothing, simply enjoyed each other's company and the view of a nocturnal landscape in serene silence. 

“Thank you,” Rogue eventually expressed. “Not just for letting me know that there was someone who cared but for never stopping to care. For being there for me when I needed it the most and every time I needed it again after. For reminding me about the things I had to live for and for giving me so many more. For being my friend and for loving me when I was ready and in a better place to return those feelings without screwing things up with irrational fears and insecurities. Thank you for making me able to stand here and be excited for a future I couldn't even hope to have the last time I was standing here. Thank you...for everything...”

“I...it's...well, uhm-” Sting stuttered, so overwhelmed by Rogue's heartfelt words of gratitude and that he didn't know how to respond to it. His cheeks warmed up and his stomach was doing that weird thing where it felt like it was scrunching itself up but in a very pleasant way, and it was saving him from the embarassment of more incoherent word-puke and the internal screaming from pouring out of his mouth. And Rogue laughed at him, which didn't make things any better at all because he found himself falling in love all over again.

“You're a disaster,” Rogue snorted. “Just take the fucking credit and kiss me.”

That he didn't need to be told twice. The rush of emotions made his movements way too hasty, turned the initiation of the kiss into a clumsy collision of eager lips and hands searhing for places to touch and lock the other in place but they were in sync almost immediately, isolated in a world of their own. He wanted to stay like this forever but the loud, dragged out sound of a bypassing car honking its horn caused them both to smile into the kiss too much to keep it going smoothly, and he had yet to take the credit like Rogue told him to do so he might as well just do that now that their bubble had bursted. 

“You're welcome,” he murmured, and technically speaking they weren't kissing anymore but they were still close enough for their lips to brush against each other with every spoken syllable. “It wasn't that hard, to be honest. You did all the hard work.”

Another laugh, a soft breath that mingled with his own and then the arms that had been curled around his waist slipped away.

“Let's leave it at tasks well divided, shall we? And speaking of hard work and task division, I know we still have a lot of things to do but since we're both being all sentimental about tonight how about we just slack off with pizzas and a movie?”

“Great idea, wanna come over to my place?”

Normally there wouldn't be any resistance or debate but this time Rogue's answer surprised him.

“How about we go to ours?”

Ours.  
The word resounded in his head like he was just presented with the idea of them living together, and they hadn't both been surrounded by moving boxes and dedicating hours of their free time to painting walls and piecing together furniture that had names they couldn't properly pronounce for the past few weeks. 

“I was thinking that I want to turn this anniversary of my all-time low into one that also celebrates an important milestone. We don't even have to assemble the bed yet, we can just sleep on the mattress on the floor and watch a movie on your laptop.”

“Uhh....yeah, that sounds perfect! We can grab the pillows and blankets and some other stuff we need from my place and then we should be good!”

Rogue gave him a suspicious look. He was definitely aware that something was up but thankfully he didn't press the matter this time. He looked across the water one last time and then grabbed his hand, ready to leave.

“Sure, let's go. It's getting cold.”

They walked hand in hand with the wind in their backs pushing them forward, leaving the bridge behind them. Maybe they'd come back here again someday for another special occasion, the next big milestone and more memories to connect to this place that was inherently beautiful and in a way belonged to them now. 

But those were all things for the future, and just like the past two years they'd be taking one step at a time. For now all Sting wanted was to go home and see the expression on Rogue's face once he'd find out that Sting's place had become the temporary habitat of their new, and very cuddly housemates as of today. One of them would probably be delighted to see him.

**Author's Note:**

> God, I struggled with this one


End file.
